It’s been far too long, and I’m breaking the silence.

Where do I start? It’s been way too long, and I’ve meant to come and update so many times, but my heart hasn’t been able to put my focus to actually sitting down and writing an update.

I think I really last gave an update as we entered maintenance. And with that, I had high hopes of a smooth road of bliss and a normal life. Well, that’s been partly happening. But, there has been so much more occurring in our lives, not just cancer, and a lot of it resulted in a lot of stress and not so positive happy feelings in me. And, because of that, I just didn’t have the heart to write it out.

One thing I’ve learned over this past year is that it is one thing to write about the stress associated with watching your child go through a diagnosis of cancer and the resulting treatment. For me, writing and sharing about that was comforting and healing. I was able to face the emotions, fears, anxiety and other feelings and basically talk myself through them while sharing our journey.

Unfortunately, I’m not as comfortable sharing about the other stress inducing experiences in our life, and 2011 was packed full of them. As in the words of the old Morton Salt advertisements, “When it Rains it Pours.” And, that has been the last year for all of us.

Right about the time Gabe started maintenance, other factors outside of cancer resulted in a very dramatic increase in my stress level. I was just plain frazzled. And, unfortunately, these stresses continued for several months. And new things were thrown into the mix, including getting laid off from my job at the end of the year.

Whew, what a year – right? Started with a bang and ended with one.

Fortunately, the people I worked for were amazingly gracious to me and truly the economy just finally hit and like millions of other people in this country, I became one of the statistics.

Really, how do you talk about that? For me, I couldn’t, not particularly when I was in the depths of the emotions and everything else. And because of all the stress associated with that, along with other things happening in our lives, I just didn’t have it in me to keep my chin up and look at the bright side.

I was fighting depression and felt for many months that I didn’t have a whole lot else in me to keep on the good fight. I was beyond exhausted, beyond frustrated, beyond exasperated. As I said to a close friend, I was at the end of my rope desperately clinging to the knot at the end praying that I didn’t loose what little grip I had left.

But, in life, all things pass. I started to feel better and get over the despondent emotions and began to pull up my big girl panties and move on. And, just as deep in my heart I knew, as soon as I was ready to emotionally move on, things would develop. When one door closes, God, in his own time, opens another – and at the end of February I started a new job as a Deputy Attorney General for the State of Nevada.

So, when you’re down, feeling awful there really isn’t a lot inspiring to even frank to talk about.  That’s just not the kind of person I am.  I try not to whine too much about life.

I’m sorry I haven’t been updating, but there’s a little bit why.

Okay, that’s more than enough about me. Let’s talk about the stuff that this blog is really all about – our family!

Gabriel is doing great! We had the hospital admission over Halloween, which sucked. Really sucked. Poor kid came off of a 5 day admission for Nelarabine in Oakland only to come down with a fever. Much to our surprise, his ANC was crazy low and stayed crazy low for the entire time we were in the hospital – 11 days. And, all that was due to a sinus infection. Yes, a simple run of the mill sinus infection.

But, those days in the hospital, I sewed his Halloween costume and while he missed trick or treating this year and all the fun festivities, he did get an awesome costume.

And even after 11 days in the hospital, we got sent home with quite a nifty set up for continuing to give Gabriel some heavy duty antibiotics.

But, slowly his body recovered and he was able to go back to school.

Yes, finally, we are starting to be more NORMAL! Yes, there is a normal life during cancer treatment! It just takes a very long time and also requires a bit of redefining of “normal” for our family.

Gabe’s been participating in Cub Scouts and has almost completed all the requirements for his Wolf badge. He’s going to school, having fun with friends and even got to go on a field trip a while back. WOW!

But, in treatment, there’s still adventures; ups, downs, and the like. We had another hospital stay right before Christmas. That was pretty emotional, as it was my biggest fear that we’d spend another Christmas in the hospital. Again, Gabe missed out on the school Christmas festivities, which really bummed him out. But, due to the incredible compassion and advocacy of our treating doctors (who are all A-M-A-Z-I-N-G), Gabriel was discharged on Christmas Eve and we got to spend Christmas at home, albeit it was with incredibly low counts but he was home and that was all that mattered to us.

We also got to have our first legitimate family vacation over MLK weekend. It had been more than a year and half since we had been able to go out of town – all four of us – and just have a great family holiday. It was fantastic! We loaded up the camper and headed north to the Modoc National Forest and went obsidian mining! Seriously, it was awesome. We came home with more obsidian than I can shake a stick at (several hundred pounds worth) and we’ve got grand plans for our next adventure up to the Modoc for more mining and exploring.

On the drive up to the Modoc.

The weekend was truly and adventure, filled with tree chopping, digging, cuts, blood, and exploration.

A perfect Fairbank Family vacation.

And who can miss Rebeka’s 3rd birthday.  It was a blast.

We were able to get out of town for an impromptu camping trip again a few weeks back.  We visiting Indian Grinding Rock State Park and just had a great time as a family.  It feels so good to be kind of normal, even if it only comes in waves.

Gabriel was also a guest speaker during the Northern Nevada Children’s Cancer Foundation’s Elevate Life Campaign.  Gabriel and I were interviewed by Dan Mason on KKOH here in town.  What a cool experience to be able to share with people in our community a little about our journey and to support the Northern Nevada Children’s Cancer Foundation’s fundraising efforts.

And a few weeks back Gabriel’s Cub Scout Pack did a community service project to reseed part of the area burned in the Washoe Drive Fire in January.  The Pack went out to Little Washoe Lake and spread seed over about two acres.  And, the pack got a bit of press, and Gabriel’s picture made the front page of the newspaper!

Probably the most difficult part about this phase of treatment is that Gabriel no longer looks and acts like a sick kid (not that he’s often really looked that bad). But, it’s easy for people to forget that he’s still undergoing treatment. We’ve still got a very long road ahead of us.

For example, last week, despite all efforts to work out his oral chemo, we’re still on a roller coaster ride.  Gabe’s counts dropped below 750, and they stopped his oral chemotherapy to hopefully avoid ending back up in the hospital with an infection and zero immune system.  But, we’re about 6 months into maintenance and we’re still trying to work out those ups and downs.  Dialing in the oral chemo is a huge challenge for everyone, the doctors, us and Gabriel.

And, even though Gabe doesn’t look or act sick, he’s still in a cancer kid.  The Cub Scout Pack had their pinewood derby, and even though Gabe’s counts were low, we let him go anyway.  He had to wear his mask, but he got to go.  And, his Den won Fastest Den!  How cool is that. 

Granted, the journey is getting easier by the day, but there’s still more than two years of treatment left, and that’s just still a long time. And, Gabe’s still going through a ton, emotionally and physically. But, he’s adapting to being back in school. He’s re-learning important social skills, and he’s got an incredible relationship with his sister, which I can only pray will continue throughout their lives.

So, there’s a quick update of the past several months. I’m not going to be such a stranger any longer. I’m out of my funk and there’s awesome things to share with everyone about my incredible and amazing family.

And, here’s a parting shot of Little Miss Fiesty.  She’s definitely gotten the short end of the attention stick this past year, but she’s a great kid and we sure love her to death too.

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Maintenance.

We made it.  September 16, 2010, Gabriel started maintenance.  We are now one giant step closer to the end.  The journey before us is still long, but we’ve survived the hardest part.  We have crossed that line in the sand.

The word itself doesn’t sound like much.  But, truly, this is a monumental point to have reached.

The maintenance phase of treatment for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia is pretty much the same whether it is pre-b, t-cell, or what not.  It is a repeating 84 day cycle that continues for basically 3 years for boys and 2.5 years for girls, based upon the date that the child begins the phase “delayed intensification.”  So, for Gabriel, that means, on April 27, 2014 he will take his very last dose of Chemotherapy medications and on April 28th, he’ll be done with his treatment.

Chet and I are adjusting to a new “normal” now. Once every 84 days he gets a LP (lumber puncture with intrathecal chemotherapy). Gabe is on a daily oral chemotherapy medication.  Weekly he gets another oral chemotherapy medication.  One week every month he gets oral steroids. Twice every 84 days he gets I.V. chemo therapy.  And for the first three cycles, Gabriel will spend 5 days in the hospital when he is given the clinical study drug, Nelarabine.

This is our new normal.

But, with this, we have tremendous freedom.  Starting now, Gabriel is permitted to be a normal activity and is expected to be able to resume the activities he was involved in before his cancer diagnosis.  Monday, his birthday, Gabe will be going back to school.

Life will slowly begin returning to normal.

Once he’s done with all of this Nelarabine treatments, he has the choice to have his central line/Broviac removed.  Once the site is healed, Gabriel will again be able to take baths, go swimming, and be even more active.

Chet and I are currently in Utah for Chet’s 3rd 100 miler of the year – the Bear 100.  I’ll try to pose an update or two.  Gabe and Rebeka are holding down the fort with Chet’s mom and my mom.

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A Whole Lot Of Catch-Up [Part 4 – Western States]

Well, it’s time to catch, those who are interested, up on Chet’s running on Western States 100 this year.  Chet was selected as part of the Silver State Striders lottery spot, which gave him the opportunity to have a second running of the event.  Chet really wanted to run the race again because last year was a snow route and he wanted to run the original course.

Unfortunately, it was once again a snow route due to the incredible winter we had this year.  Chet was mighty disappointed and, honestly, had it not been for getting the Silver State Striders lottery spot, he probably would have bailed on the event just because of all the other stuff going on in our life and his desire to do the original course.

Having the commitment to do it though was great.  And, all things being said and done, he really did enjoy the race again this year.

Pre-race meeting at Squaw Valley.

Chet visiting with Jose San Gabriel after the pre-race meeting.

Chet doing his annual modeling of the schwag from the event – Moben sleeves, leg warmers and a head do-hickie-thing-a-majiggie.

The runners nervous energy in advance of the event.

How quickly it clears out about 10 minutes before race start.

Chet hanging out before the race.

Right before the race start – like 30 seconds.  Looking good and chilled.

And he’s off. 

Due to the snow course this year, crew wasn’t able to meet up with the runners until mile 55 at the Michigan Bluff Aid Station.  Chet wanted food, and he was hungry for the real deal.  He put away a foot long Subway sandwich.  I enjoyed just hanging out with Jenny Dicus and experiencing Michigan Bluff with half as many people as usual.

Chet chowing on his foot long.

Heading back out onto to the trail on his way to the Forest Hill Aid Station.

See you in a few miles.

Chet rolled into the Forest hill Aid Station looking great and ready to pick up Scott, who was pacing him this year.

Getting weighed-in at Forest Hill Aid Station.

Looking good and all smiles.

Lots of conversation with George and I.

Scott and Chet are off for the last 38 miles of the race.

While I made my way down to Green Gate, the next reasonable spot to meet Chet; however, I forgot to take my camera and of course didn’t get a picture.  But, it was dark, dusty and not really all that interesting.  After meeting Chet and Scott at Green Gate, I caught a quick 40 minute nap before taking the shuttle to the Highway 49 crossing Aid Station.

Chet and Scott arriving at Highway 49.

Chet, still all smiles with 7 miles to go.

Scott with some witty comment I suppose.  I don’t really remember much from that time of the day/night/whatever.

Chet coming in for a strong finish.

Yah, the first 100 of the year is done and in the books.

And, even after Chet finished sprinting in his 100 miles, he was excited to our friend Bill and ran in along the track at Auburn High School cheering Bill to the finish.

 

Enjoying a well deserved beer after a great 100 miler.

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I’ll Buy You Tall, Tall Trees …

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programing to bring you this virtually live update.

I was going back and forth trying to decide whether to finish up the “Whole Lot of Catch-Up” series or to actually talk about stuff that’s happening now.  And, well, I’ve decided to provide a live and real time post.  Besides, most of the rest of the catching up involves Chet’s running…and that can wait, right?  Absolutely, so the updates on Western States and the Tahoe Rim Trail will come in due time.  Besides, I’m still trying to compile pictures for those posts.  I’m chronically bad at getting pictures at Chet’s running events anymore.

Onward!

As I’ve previously mentioned, Gabriel stared delayed intensification at the beginning of June.  That involved several weekly doses of the “Red Devil” a.k.a. Doxarubacin.  He tolerated the treatments remarkably well as his counts did not drop as we expected.  In fact, they didn’t drop hardly at all through all three of the treatments, which meant that Gabriel was able to be at the finish line at Tahoe Rim Trail, which was a pretty nice thing.

So, given the fact that his counts were holding steady, imagine our surprise last Tuesday when I called down to confirm that all systems were “go” for starting Nelarabine, the next phase in delayed intensification.  And, we were told that his counts were super low (344).  If you haven’t been privy to my detailed explanations of ANC counts or you’ve forgotten, you can get a refresher here.  We were pushed off a week, until today, assuming his counts were high enough (he has to be at least at 750 to start the next round of Chemo).

But, the flip side of Gabe’s next Chemo being pushed off was that we were all home together over the weekend.  And, this was the first weekend in weeks, no, months, that we haven’t had something going on.  Earlier in the week, after finding out that Gabriel wasn’t going to be in the hospital over the weekend, I had thought it would be nice to get out for a drive as a family, like around Lake Tahoe or something like that.

Saturday morning after cooking breakfast, putzing around the house and just generally being lazy, Chet suggested that we go for a drive.  My response was, let’s go.  We loaded up the car with more crap than we’ve ever normally loaded for just a drive.  But, life isn’t like it used to be.  So, now we are loaded with the “kit” Chet’s prepared which includes supplies to do a flush of Gabriel’s central line if necessary, red top wipes (hospital grade sanitizing wipes), Clorox wipes, paper plates, plastic silverware, paper towels, zip-lock bags, hand soap, and more.  We loaded changes of clothes for both kids, blankets, food, drinks, and yes, eventually the children.

We decided to head out and drive over Ebbetts Pass (CA HWY 4).  Just a couple miles before we got to Markleeville, CA, in an open field, Chet spotted a Mamma Bear and three cubs.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a better picture.  But, there they are in all their glory.  We spent a while just watching the bears up in the field.

Ultimately, we continued on our way, but not without stopping for some pictures of one of our favorite roadside sites along HWY 4.

There’s just something cool about this old homestead long the highway.  Then there’s the old trailer, which is a converted bus. It’s one of those things that just begs for pictures to be taken of it.

After the pictures, it was time to continue on.  We stopped at Bear Valley to grab some sandwiches for Chet and I to eat for lunch.  While Chet was in the deli, I whipped up some PB&J sandwiches for the kids.  Rebeka inhaled hers, only to be promptly puked up just as soon as we got back on the highway to head toward someplace to stop for a picnic and to let the kids run around. Ahh, thank goodness Chet loaded the “kit” because we had sufficient supplies to do an emergency clean up.  And, fortunately, I had packed extra clothes, so after a swift wipe down (Chet also packed the bath wipes from the hospital) and change, we were back in business.

While we were looking for some place to stop for lunch, we came upon Calaveras Big Trees State Park, and decided on a whim to stop there.  Chet and I have often talked about stopping here, we just never have.  So, this was the time and it was a very good decision.

We stopped and enjoyed lunch under the canopy of cedar and oak trees.

Rebeka was telling us some story here.

 

Gabriel was being overly dramatic about God only knows what here.

The kids got together for a picture, and it was completely amicable, I promise that Gabriel isn’t trying to choke Rebeka here. They were having a great time just running around and exploring.

Chet and the kids walk along a large fallen tree.

After a nice lunch, we decided to go to the South Grove and check out the Giant Sequoia trees which are the main attraction at the park.

We headed out for the 3.5 mile hike to view the groves and it was the most worthwhile adventure.  We saw hardly anyone out there and the kids enjoyed their trek.  Gabriel hiked the entire 3.5 miles and Rebeka did at least 2.5 miles of it, if not more.  It was awesome, the kids had a blast, Gabriel was so excited to be out there and Rebeka was beyond filthy by the time we made it back to the car, which made me appreciate the second change of clothes I threw into the bag.

Rebeka balancing on a log.

Beautiful big trees.

Amazing burl or stump, or as Gabriel named it, “the brain.”

She’s only hardly filthy in the picture.

One of the first Giant Sequoia we saw.

Gabriel approaching the base of the first Sequoia tree.

One of the larger Giant Sequoia’s we saw.

 

A little perspective as to the scale of the tree.

Looking up.

 

Inside an ancient hollow Giant Sequoia.

 

 

 

 

Getting out, hiking with the kids and just enjoying life was such a refreshing change.  It’s something that we’ve truly needed and I’m so grateful that we just decided to hit the road.  As I said to Chet somewhere along the hike, the $8 entry fee was the best eight-bucks I’ve spent in a very long time.  The kids had an amazing time, I had an amazing time and it was just awesome.

So, after we enjoyed a weekend as a family together, we were mentally gearing up for this weeks hospital admission. Again, we were surprised yesterday to find out his counts were still too low.  He was only up to 610.  Again we were pushed back for the start of Nelarabine, until hopefully Friday of this week.

We’ll find out tomorrow to find out whether we’re on for the this next round of Chemo.  Chet and I are so anxious to get this show on the road.  Once we start Nelarabine, we start the clock to maintenance, a point in Gabriel’s treatment we are all to anxious to get to. The difficulty with this phase of the treatment is that we’ve been able to feel somewhat normal, but not able to fully relax due to the fact that we never know were we are at in terms of Gabe’s immune system.  There’s a lot of uncertainty and associated anxiety.  We’ve tried to live a normal life, but no matter how close to normal we try to get, we just cannot dismiss the fact that we’re not there yet.

We have this hope and expectation that once we get to maintenance, low ANC counts will be few and far between.  At that point, Gabe will be able to start back at school.  We’ll be able to have a bit more of a normal social life as a family.  Life won’t be constantly in fear of an infection.  Now, in reality, Chet and I both acknowledge that our expectations are probably a little inflated at this point in time, but hopefully we’ll get there in time.

Until then, we just continue looking forward.  All will come in due time, and we are working on exercising patience and discipline.

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A Whole Lot of Catch-Up [Part 3 – Aceball]

Through the Northern Nevada Children’s Cancer Foundation, Gabriel got the opportunity to throw out the first pitch at a Reno Aces game.  The Reno Aces are the Minor League MLB team and affiliated with the Arizona Diamondbacks.

We didn’t know whether Gabriel’s counts would be high enough to do it, but by the grace of God, his counts were good enough and it was an amazing evening.  There really is no way for Chet and I to express our gratitude to the Reno Aces franchise for giving Gabriel the opportunity.

Gabriel got to go down during batting practice and meet all the different players.  While Gabriel was off schmoozing with the baseball players, Chet and I got a personalized grand tour of the ballpark and learned different things about the park we didn’t know.  It was a truly amazing experience. After a while, Gabriel was reunited with us and after finishing the tour together, we all headed out onto the ballfield for the festivities.

The National Anthem

Gabriel was ALL warmed up for the first pitch, and he threw out an AMAZING first pitch.  It was awesome, a great throw, and right on target.

After the pitch, Gabriel was able to take the line-up sheet out to the umpires with the Ace’s Manager, Brett Buttler.

And, of course, he got an amazing photo opportunity with Brett Buttler, an amazing man and cancer survivor himself.

All in all it was a terrific time, an amazing time.  A truly memorable opportunity.

Adding to the awesomeness of the experience was the support of my parents and many of our friends here locally who came out for the game and to watch Gabriel throw out that first pitch.  Mom, Dad, Jen, Dave, Julia, Sam, Melanie, Eric, Aiden, Chloe, Kathie, Al, George and Ronda all came out and showed their support for Gabriel.  That was amazing and really touched our hearts in a way we can’t even begin to express.

This final photo I think really sums up Gabe’s experience.  He still talks about the ball players.

Special thanks to Rick Parr, the General Manager for the Reno Aces for the photo’s too.  His pictures are MUCH better than mine. 

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A Whole Lot Of Catch-Up [Part 2]

Despite Gabriel’s cancer diagnosis and treatment, certain elements of our lives have had to stay normal, and a major component of our lives for the past decade has been Chet’s ultra running.  Not only has it been a healthy outlet for Chet, but it has brought us into contact with some of the most amazing people and through those contacts, we’ve made incredible friends.  As you may or may not know, Chet’s transitioned from running primarily 50k and/or 50 mile events during the first 5 years of his ultra running life to primarily 100 mile events.

Last year, Chet ran the Western States 100 and he again was selected, through our local running club’s lottery, to run the race.  Chet found out of course before Gabriel was diagnosed at the end of December.  After Gabe’s diagnosis, Chet and I had a bit of soul searching to do regarding his running for the next year.  However, running is such an important component to our lives, and ultimately, it really was a no brainer – of course Chet would be running.

While we were all dedicated to supporting Chet as he trained, this year his training took a new tone and style.  Meaning, Chet basically got his training completed on the weekends.  But, he has been training and running.

One of our “standard” events every year is the Silver State 50/50.  I run the Ranch Creek aid station and Chet runs the event.  This year, Brynda, our neighbor helped me out at the aid station, and I have to say it was a jolly good time.  Brynda definitely kept things interesting!

We have one of the most beautiful locations on the course to set up our aid station, and oooh, yah, there’s a little story behind that.  With all the distraction I’ve had this year, I didn’t give a single thought to where my aid station was until after I was driving up there.  Clearly my brain cells were totally malfunctioning, because I started setting up at the wrong aid station.  My gut kept telling me I was at the wrong location, but I didn’t trust my gut.  Fortunately, we were alerted (thanks Lon) with plenty of time to break down, relocate and set up again.  Thanks to Brynda for indulging my brainless self that day.  Haha.

Brynda was an incredible volunteer and so helpful to me and the different runners.

Chet ran the 50 mile event and looked amazing!

Overall, it was an awesome day.  Not only did Chet and I enjoy having a bit of our normal existence, but Gabriel’s counts were high enough that he was able to go to the pre-race event and hang out at the finish line waiting for Chet.  It was a blessed and beautiful day.

The rest of May and June didn’t involve too much excitement for us.  We transitioned from the interim maintenance phase of Gabriel’s treatment to delayed intensification.  But, fortunately, Gabriel’s little body tolerated the methotrexate he was given that we had the opportunity to have one very special event, and it involved the Reno Aces.  Stay tuned, part 3 of A Whole Lot of Catch Up will be filled with amazement and excitement, I promise!

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Interim Maintenance And More

Gabriel is heading in to the final weeks of the interim maintenance phase of his treatment.

These past several weeks have been an interesting emotional roller coaster, and I just haven’t been able to find the pleasure in talking about the journey.  I have just felt empty.

It might be just be a bit of emotional burnout.  Maybe since we’ve reached somewhat of an slower phase of treatment and have been able to enjoy some relaxation of our neurotic germophobic existence, we’ve been able to just to feel a bit like ourselves.

So, how’s Gabe?  He’s doing well, all things considered.

We had yet another scare of central nervous system involvement due to a poorly prepared slide of Gabriel’s spinal fluid from a spinal tap here in town.  As a result, we had to make another trip to Oakland for a re-tap so that we could rule out CNS involvement.  Not only does this cause additional stress for Chet and I wondering of there’s something that has gone south.  But, it also results in duplicate expenses for our insurance and additional costs for us, as we end up having to make an unplanned trip to Oakland.

Fortunately, the oncology doctors from Children’s Hospital Oakland (CHO) are awesome, and they take amazing care of Gabriel and us, and the do over’s are not at all related to them or their quality.  And, because we know that the reliability and consistency of the results obtained from the procedures performed at CHO, Chet and I have decided that we’re going to have all the remaining spinal taps done in Oakland.

But our last trip to Oakland was great.  We ended up staying at a nice place (our regular digs were sold out).

Chet, Gabriel and I enjoyed a nice stroll along the waterfront.

We got to see an egret on the walk.

And Gabriel picked me some flowers along our stroll.

Gabriel has been getting escalating doses of methotrexate, and he tolerated the first 4 doses very well.  We think the last dose finally took a toll on him and that his counts dropped after the last dose.  We will find out tomorrow how he’s doing and what affect the last round of treatment had on him.

Isn’t he cute passed out from anesthesia?

We as a family have been struggling greatly with Gabe’s eating.  He has lost a considerable amount of weight and we’re greatly concerned about his well being.  At the last appointment, the doctor’s didn’t mention anything about his weight loss but the attending physician wasn’t one of the regular doctors who has been seeing Gabriel since he was diagnosed.  So, I’m not certain if she looked at the trends with his weight.  So, we’ll learn more tomorrow.

We’ve also been dealing with a lot more puking as of late.  Gabe’s been having a very difficult time keeping solids down, which has just made the challenge with respect to his eating greater.  Our journey continues.  Operation Leukemia Elimination continues, and the battlefield is constantly filled with new challenges and experiences.

A few weeks back, it occurred to me that how can different people compare their own struggles and difficulties?  The other night, I was reflecting a lot of this journey and thinking about the impact it’s had on all of us, and how it relates in this world.  As I was laying in bed I thought about how my feelings over the past several weeks.  And while, the stresses, challenges, and heartache I feel, it doesn’t make our challenges greater or more insignificant than any other person’s challenges.  I’ve had several friends apologize to me when sharing their own difficulties being addressed in their lives, saying that what we’re dealing with is so much worse.  But, is it?

Each of us are very different people.  We are all unique creations, with distinct emotions, different tolerances, and different life experiences to draw upon.  What may bring me to my knees emotionally, someone else can take in stride.  And, just because we’re dealing with what we are, does not in any way diminish the significance or importance of another’s experiences.  The experiences are simply different.

So, it’s time to feel excited again.  We’re getting closer to maintenance.  It’s almost summer (well, according to the calendar).  And we’ve got lots of adventures waiting for us over the summer…and a lot of it doesn’t involve cancer treatment.  It’s time to be refreshed and rejuvenated.

I’m finally feeling excited to share with everyone things that are going on in our lives outside of treatment.  I need to share about the Silver State 50/50 and more about the golf tourney. Chet’s got the Western States 100 miler coming up here in just a few weeks followed by the Tahoe Rim Trail 100.  There are so many cool adventures coming!  I can’t wait to bring you all along with us.

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St. Baldricks & The NNCCF

Last night the Northern Nevada Children’s Cancer Foundation (“NNCCF”) hosted their annual St. Baldricks event.  The event helps raise money for childhood cancer research as well as money for NNCCF and their mission – helping families in northern Nevada with a child afflicted with cancer.

Chet and Gabriel were supposed to head to Oakland on Tuesday.  However, a condition of starting Nelarabine, Gabriel’s ANC counts had to greater than 750.  Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, Gabriel’s counts were a mere 480.  Moving in the right direction, but not nearly enough to start treatment.  So, we’re put off for his treatment until hopefully today.

The positive about Gabriel’s counts being too low for treatment, but higher than they had been is that Gabriel was able to go to St. Baldricks last night here in Reno.

Pete, the son of our awesome across the street neighbors, Brynda and Mike, got his head shaved in support of Gabriel as well as Will and Liam, fellow Scouts.  Brynda also got some shirts made in honor of Operation Leukemia Elimination, and well, it was just incredible.

It was a bit hard for Gabriel at first.  Our normally incredibly UNshy kid was just overwhelmed by the entire experience at first.  But, NNCCF was kind enough to offer a little VIP treatment to Gabriel, and soon enough he was relaxed and taking it all in.

And, ultimately, it was just Fun, with a capital “F.”  We all were just having a good time.

All it all it was great.  We ran into Connie, the nurse practitioner who is part of Gabriel’s oncology team and some other friends.  And, I came |—–THIS—–| close to having my head shaved.  But, amid vehement protests from Chet, I submitted (don’t ever let him say I’m not a submissive wife or woman).

It was lots of fun and just awesome to see the community support out there.  Thanks Reno, Sparks & Carson for supporting kids with cancer!

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Humor

There’s a couple of inside jokes in this house. Well, they may not be so “inside,” but they are our jokes.

One of the things we are psychotic about is hand washing.  The one thing is that poor Chet’s hands are just getting TRASHED.  His hands are all red, dry and cracked.  So, he’ll say “I’ve been putting the lotion on.”  To which I respond something like this….

Snicker-snort.  Yah, we’re kind of weird in our house.

Anyone have any suggestions for REALLY good lotion?  We’re doing corn huskers lotion and various other types with not great success for Chet’s crazy over washed hands.

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The Weekend.

It has come and gone, and truly, it was a pretty good weekend.  I think we got a lot accomplished.  But, looking back now, I’m not absolutely certain of that.

Saturday Chet and our friend Scott went out and did a nice 17 mile (give or take) run on Peavine, Chet’s old stomping/running grounds in Reno.  Truckee was able to accompany them, and his foot seems to be doing much better.  He’s got a bum knee I guess is the best way to put it.  But, he did great and none of the guys, Chet, Scott or Truckee were any worse for ware.  Well, I assume Scott wasn’t, but I wasn’t there today to see how he was feeling.

I felt like I got a bit accomplished yesterday.  I got the kitchen cleaned up (amazing how quickly it can all be undone) and the house picked up a bit along with sewing a comforter cover for Rebeka.  Ahh, yes, that time is upon us and we finally decided it was time to transition to the big girl bed.

Rebeka’s been able to crawl out of her crib for a while already, but it was infrequent.  She also has a very controlled manner of dropping out onto a nice carpeted floor.  But, she was generally content to just chill in the mornings.  But, this past week we were having more incidents of her climbing out coupled with one night her climbing out, leaving her bedroom, and being almost all the way down the stairs to the living room at around 2am.  So, we decided it was time to move into the big girl bed.

Our friends had given us their daughter’s old bed when she upgraded a while back, which we were extremely grateful for.  So, yesterday after Chet’s run he stopped at my parents storage unit and picked up the bed.  Today was the big transition day.

It started with totally repainting Rebeka’s bedroom a bright green color from a pale yellow color.

Ultimately, we’ll replace the trim and I need to clean the carpet, but it’s MUCH better than it was.  Got the room painted and redecorated before noon!  Not too shabby.

I am very happy with how it turned out.  So, once I finish putting a hard coat on the switch plate covers and Chet replaces the sockets and switch, all we’ll have left (besides the trim) is artwork.  But, not a bad room for our little big girl now.

And of course, what’s the first thing you do when your 2 and you get a big kid bed….JUMP of course!

After Chet and I got Rebeka’s room done, Chet headed out to restock our firewood stores near the house, since we might be getting some weather.  Gabriel worked hard with his dad helping him to stack firewood and moved a ton of kindling for us too.

Not only did he move kindling, but he moved some of the smaller logs on his sled.

He is such a hard worker.  It was just awesome that he felt like hanging out with his dad in the yard today.  All in all, it was a great day.

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