Interim Maintenance And More

Gabriel is heading in to the final weeks of the interim maintenance phase of his treatment.

These past several weeks have been an interesting emotional roller coaster, and I just haven’t been able to find the pleasure in talking about the journey.  I have just felt empty.

It might be just be a bit of emotional burnout.  Maybe since we’ve reached somewhat of an slower phase of treatment and have been able to enjoy some relaxation of our neurotic germophobic existence, we’ve been able to just to feel a bit like ourselves.

So, how’s Gabe?  He’s doing well, all things considered.

We had yet another scare of central nervous system involvement due to a poorly prepared slide of Gabriel’s spinal fluid from a spinal tap here in town.  As a result, we had to make another trip to Oakland for a re-tap so that we could rule out CNS involvement.  Not only does this cause additional stress for Chet and I wondering of there’s something that has gone south.  But, it also results in duplicate expenses for our insurance and additional costs for us, as we end up having to make an unplanned trip to Oakland.

Fortunately, the oncology doctors from Children’s Hospital Oakland (CHO) are awesome, and they take amazing care of Gabriel and us, and the do over’s are not at all related to them or their quality.  And, because we know that the reliability and consistency of the results obtained from the procedures performed at CHO, Chet and I have decided that we’re going to have all the remaining spinal taps done in Oakland.

But our last trip to Oakland was great.  We ended up staying at a nice place (our regular digs were sold out).

Chet, Gabriel and I enjoyed a nice stroll along the waterfront.

We got to see an egret on the walk.

And Gabriel picked me some flowers along our stroll.

Gabriel has been getting escalating doses of methotrexate, and he tolerated the first 4 doses very well.  We think the last dose finally took a toll on him and that his counts dropped after the last dose.  We will find out tomorrow how he’s doing and what affect the last round of treatment had on him.

Isn’t he cute passed out from anesthesia?

We as a family have been struggling greatly with Gabe’s eating.  He has lost a considerable amount of weight and we’re greatly concerned about his well being.  At the last appointment, the doctor’s didn’t mention anything about his weight loss but the attending physician wasn’t one of the regular doctors who has been seeing Gabriel since he was diagnosed.  So, I’m not certain if she looked at the trends with his weight.  So, we’ll learn more tomorrow.

We’ve also been dealing with a lot more puking as of late.  Gabe’s been having a very difficult time keeping solids down, which has just made the challenge with respect to his eating greater.  Our journey continues.  Operation Leukemia Elimination continues, and the battlefield is constantly filled with new challenges and experiences.

A few weeks back, it occurred to me that how can different people compare their own struggles and difficulties?  The other night, I was reflecting a lot of this journey and thinking about the impact it’s had on all of us, and how it relates in this world.  As I was laying in bed I thought about how my feelings over the past several weeks.  And while, the stresses, challenges, and heartache I feel, it doesn’t make our challenges greater or more insignificant than any other person’s challenges.  I’ve had several friends apologize to me when sharing their own difficulties being addressed in their lives, saying that what we’re dealing with is so much worse.  But, is it?

Each of us are very different people.  We are all unique creations, with distinct emotions, different tolerances, and different life experiences to draw upon.  What may bring me to my knees emotionally, someone else can take in stride.  And, just because we’re dealing with what we are, does not in any way diminish the significance or importance of another’s experiences.  The experiences are simply different.

So, it’s time to feel excited again.  We’re getting closer to maintenance.  It’s almost summer (well, according to the calendar).  And we’ve got lots of adventures waiting for us over the summer…and a lot of it doesn’t involve cancer treatment.  It’s time to be refreshed and rejuvenated.

I’m finally feeling excited to share with everyone things that are going on in our lives outside of treatment.  I need to share about the Silver State 50/50 and more about the golf tourney. Chet’s got the Western States 100 miler coming up here in just a few weeks followed by the Tahoe Rim Trail 100.  There are so many cool adventures coming!  I can’t wait to bring you all along with us.