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Posts Tagged ‘treatment’

On the day to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I’m reflecting first on those things which are good and positive.

I’m thankful for Dr. Christopherson who, to me, amazingly detected something very very wrong with Gabriel and got us on the fast track to treatment.  I’m thankful for the wonderful Doctors and the nursing staff here at Oakland Children’s.  We have had so many answered prayers – I am a true believer in the power of prayer and positive thought.  Gabriel has responded remarkably well to his first Chemo treatment.  His white blood cell count has dropped incredibly.  His body is processing and eliminating the by products of the cell breakdown.  He’s been in good spirits today, he even got a visit from Santa and a GIANT bag of toys just for him.  Absolutely awesome.  Then Gabriel got to enjoy opening some gifts friends of ours left when they came for a visit the other day.  We feel so fortunate.

Yesterday, Gabriel had a very special visitor, Andy.  Andy is a cancer survivor who at age 2 was diagnosed and completed his treatment in November.  After spending a lot of time here at Oakland Children’s, Andy decided that he wanted to start a fund to buy furry friends for other kids going through the same thing.  Andy didn’t want any child to feel scared or alone.  So, this Christmas, Andy personally delivered bears to all the little boys and girls here in “5 South.”

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions for Chet and I today.  Exhaustion coupled with all the stress of going through what we’re dealing with, plus not being at our home with all our family enjoying our Christmas traditions really hurt my heart.  I know it seems somewhat selfish, but it is the honest truth.

And, I think being away from sweet Rebeka is starting to wear on us as well.  We know she is in good hands with Grandma and Grandpa, but we miss her.  Then, she decided to come down with a fever.  Oy.  Sometimes you feel as though you just can’t catch a break.  Even though she loves to run fevers for no apparent reason – she’s the queen of the “non-specific viral infection” diagnosis – when you’re dealing with an overload of information and no identifiable cause for Gabriel having leukemia, your brain just jumps to the worst case scenario.  All I want to do is hold her and hug her, but I can’t.  I can’t be two places at once, and I need to be here too with Gabriel right now.

There’s no other way to put it – this situation sucks.

Fortunately, at this point in time based upon the progress Gabriel has made, assuming he keeps responding to the treatments in a similar fashion, he should be home by the end of January.  That’s still a long time, but it’s just a month.  In the grand scheme of things, we can handle him being away from home for a month.  Chet and I can keep that in perspective.

Sadly, Gabriel doesn’t have that perspective and today we had his first full blown meltdown when it finally sunk in that he is going to be here for a whole month.  I can’t take that hurt away and I can’t change the outcome.  I have no control, and I hate it.

I’m his mom and I’m supposed to be able to protect him and take care of him.  And, I there isn’t a darn thing I can do to protect him from the heartache that accompanies the harsh realities of his condition and treatment.  But, I can be here for him.  I can hold him and hug him and cry with him.  And, well, sometimes I feel like that is the best I can do.

Fortunately, Dr. Marsh came to check on Gabriel, and she has the sweetest disposition and is so skilled at working with these kids.  She talked to him too.  And soon we got a few smiles back on his face.  Soon enough Chet’s parents were here and Gabriel was out of his room and enjoying their company while playing Lego Star Wars on the X-Box 360 in the play room with his Grandma, Grandpa, and Dad.  I just enjoyed sitting there with them all.

We continue the good fight.  We’re okay hating cancer.  We’re okay saying we’re going to kick its butt.  And we’re okay, because we’re going to make it through this coming out stronger and better than ever.  There are going to be good days, there are going to be bad days, and then there are going to be a lot of those days where there’s a mix of the two.   Today was just one of those days.

 

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