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Posts Tagged ‘cancer’

Despite Gabriel’s cancer diagnosis and treatment, certain elements of our lives have had to stay normal, and a major component of our lives for the past decade has been Chet’s ultra running.  Not only has it been a healthy outlet for Chet, but it has brought us into contact with some of the most amazing people and through those contacts, we’ve made incredible friends.  As you may or may not know, Chet’s transitioned from running primarily 50k and/or 50 mile events during the first 5 years of his ultra running life to primarily 100 mile events.

Last year, Chet ran the Western States 100 and he again was selected, through our local running club’s lottery, to run the race.  Chet found out of course before Gabriel was diagnosed at the end of December.  After Gabe’s diagnosis, Chet and I had a bit of soul searching to do regarding his running for the next year.  However, running is such an important component to our lives, and ultimately, it really was a no brainer – of course Chet would be running.

While we were all dedicated to supporting Chet as he trained, this year his training took a new tone and style.  Meaning, Chet basically got his training completed on the weekends.  But, he has been training and running.

One of our “standard” events every year is the Silver State 50/50.  I run the Ranch Creek aid station and Chet runs the event.  This year, Brynda, our neighbor helped me out at the aid station, and I have to say it was a jolly good time.  Brynda definitely kept things interesting!

We have one of the most beautiful locations on the course to set up our aid station, and oooh, yah, there’s a little story behind that.  With all the distraction I’ve had this year, I didn’t give a single thought to where my aid station was until after I was driving up there.  Clearly my brain cells were totally malfunctioning, because I started setting up at the wrong aid station.  My gut kept telling me I was at the wrong location, but I didn’t trust my gut.  Fortunately, we were alerted (thanks Lon) with plenty of time to break down, relocate and set up again.  Thanks to Brynda for indulging my brainless self that day.  Haha.

Brynda was an incredible volunteer and so helpful to me and the different runners.

Chet ran the 50 mile event and looked amazing!

Overall, it was an awesome day.  Not only did Chet and I enjoy having a bit of our normal existence, but Gabriel’s counts were high enough that he was able to go to the pre-race event and hang out at the finish line waiting for Chet.  It was a blessed and beautiful day.

The rest of May and June didn’t involve too much excitement for us.  We transitioned from the interim maintenance phase of Gabriel’s treatment to delayed intensification.  But, fortunately, Gabriel’s little body tolerated the methotrexate he was given that we had the opportunity to have one very special event, and it involved the Reno Aces.  Stay tuned, part 3 of A Whole Lot of Catch Up will be filled with amazement and excitement, I promise!

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Today marks six months to the day since Gabriel was diagnosed with t-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia.  I wish I could say the past six months have been smooth.  I wish I could say the past six months have been easy.  But, I would be lying if I did.

The past six months have SUCKED.

Leukemia sucks.  Cancer sucks.  It’s a horrible disease that takes so much from the person suffering from the disease as well as all those who love and cherish the individual afflicted.

Compounding, at times exponentially, the toll of our journey as a family with Gabriel’s cancer, Chet and I have been faced with many other burdens, challenges and heart wrenching circumstances beyond Gabe’s cancer.  The past six months would have been difficult enough emotionally with the other things that have occurred in our lives – major health issues with close family, the death of a dearest family member, deaths of family of close friends, and more – yet, all this has been piled on the stresses of coping with a child who is fighting the battle of his life, for his life.

I’ve had many friends share this quote from Mother Teresa:

I know GOD will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish HE didn’t trust me so much.

Last night, Gabriel was downstairs cleaning his bedroom.  Chet looked down the stairs to see Gabe sitting on the floor of his room crying.  We went downstairs to understand what was going on, and he was looking through a book of pictures of his first grade class, crying because he misses his friends.  He misses friendship, companionship, socialization, things 6 year old children should be able to experience.  Things kids his age should be experiencing, but he hasn’t because of the cancer.  He has missed out on those precious moments because of the horrible awful despicable cancer.  It took every thread of my being not to sit there and sob with him.

We had to make a decision at the end of the school year: were we going to advance Gabriel to second grade, or were we going to hold him back in first grade?  Gabriel was doing great in math, science, etc., but his reading is way behind.  Ultimately, we chose to hold him since he has been by far the youngest in his grade (he made the cutoff for kindergarten by four days), he is by far the smallest kid, and what was the point of pushing him forward.  It seems like it should have been a no-brainer, but it was a difficult choice for Chet and I.  We knew that Gabriel would watch his friends, those same friends who he misses, advance without him.  We knew he’s good to go in every other subject than reading/language.  But, we also knew that we had to do what was best for him, not what seemed like a “feel good” choice at the moment.

As my grandmother so appropriately phrased it for us, “he’s not repeating first grade, he’s finishing first grade.”  And that’s so true.  Because of his treatment he missed half the school year.

But, despite the decision being correct or right – the fact that we had to make that decision when Gabe’s missed out on so much with those friends hurts. My heart hurts.

However, despite all the tears that have been shed, despite all the sadness and difficult days, we are so blessed.  We are truly blessed beyond measure.

Six months ago – at the time this picture was taken, just a mere three days before I received the fateful phone call, Gabriel likely had leukemia raging throughout his body, but we had no idea.  He was happy, adorable, and just a regular 6 year old.

And, today, Gabriel still is a happy adorable and regular 6 year old thankfully to the keen observations of Dr. Christopherson and the swift response by all involved, particularly the Oncology doctors at Children’s Hospital Oakland.  The mere fact that today, a child whose body was being consumed by cancer is still with us is a beautiful and wonderful blessing.

We are blessed that Gabriel has responded incredibly well to treatment.  We have received so many enthusiastic responses from all of the doctors who have been involved in his care and treatment regarding his response to the treatment he has received.   We are blessed that we have a child who has tolerated the medicines, the poisons, the pokes, the tests, the doctors visits, and the isolation so well.

We have been blessed with a community of family and friends who have offered so much support, love, prayer and help when we’ve called for it.

We’re blessed that aside from one infection, our only hospital admissions have been routine and scheduled.

We’re blessed, because we have seen Gabriel grow into a little person wise beyond his years with a heart of love and appreciation for the silver linings offered by the disease, even when he’s otherwise upset about the less appealing aspects.

Chet and I have been blessed with one another.  When I’m weak, he is strong for the two of us.  When he struggles, I have the strength to offer to him in return.  We are blessed that despite some of the most stressful circumstances one can find themselves experiencing, we are more unified in our marriage than I believe we were before.

Laura Story, a singer and songwriter wrote a song “Blessings.”  The lyrics are spot on in so many different ways.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

(Chorus)
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

I recently found out my aunt passed away over the weekend.  She lost her fight against cancer.  Cancer sucks.

I loved my Aunt Mary.  I have countless fond memories of my time with her.  Love filled, laughter filled moments.  Moments that I will carry continually in my heart.  My Aunt Mary showed me different ways to look at things.  She planted a seed for my love of cast iron cookware, my interest in cake decorating.  Through her and my Uncle Emo, I was introduced to the idea that regular people can have farm animals, can provide for themselves off the land, can be independent spirits.  Yet, for reasons I don’t know and probably wouldn’t ever be able to understand, she isolated herself from the family during her battle.  While I accept the decisions and choices she made, those same choices and decisions have left me baffled.  And loosing her to cancer just scraped at the slowly healing wounds of my heart relating to Gabriel.

Godspeed Aunt Mary.  I love you and will carry in my heart your smile, your laughter, and the beauty of your heart.

Next week Gabriel enters the second to last phase of his treatment – delayed intensification.  The next eight weeks will be difficult in our household as we again go into complete lockdown mode.  Gabe’s counts will be extremely low for the bulk of the summer. Chet and I are beginning to mentally, emotionally, and logistically prepare for this last phase. We’re ready.  We’re ready to get to maintenance so that Gabriel will finally achieve normalcy in his life. Until then, we are equipped for this next “battle.”

Please, continue to pray for us, Gabriel and my family.  We’ve experienced a lot already in 2011, and the year’s yet through.

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Last night the Northern Nevada Children’s Cancer Foundation (“NNCCF”) hosted their annual St. Baldricks event.  The event helps raise money for childhood cancer research as well as money for NNCCF and their mission – helping families in northern Nevada with a child afflicted with cancer.

Chet and Gabriel were supposed to head to Oakland on Tuesday.  However, a condition of starting Nelarabine, Gabriel’s ANC counts had to greater than 750.  Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, Gabriel’s counts were a mere 480.  Moving in the right direction, but not nearly enough to start treatment.  So, we’re put off for his treatment until hopefully today.

The positive about Gabriel’s counts being too low for treatment, but higher than they had been is that Gabriel was able to go to St. Baldricks last night here in Reno.

Pete, the son of our awesome across the street neighbors, Brynda and Mike, got his head shaved in support of Gabriel as well as Will and Liam, fellow Scouts.  Brynda also got some shirts made in honor of Operation Leukemia Elimination, and well, it was just incredible.

It was a bit hard for Gabriel at first.  Our normally incredibly UNshy kid was just overwhelmed by the entire experience at first.  But, NNCCF was kind enough to offer a little VIP treatment to Gabriel, and soon enough he was relaxed and taking it all in.

And, ultimately, it was just Fun, with a capital “F.”  We all were just having a good time.

All it all it was great.  We ran into Connie, the nurse practitioner who is part of Gabriel’s oncology team and some other friends.  And, I came |—–THIS—–| close to having my head shaved.  But, amid vehement protests from Chet, I submitted (don’t ever let him say I’m not a submissive wife or woman).

It was lots of fun and just awesome to see the community support out there.  Thanks Reno, Sparks & Carson for supporting kids with cancer!

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